Goth For Dummies (Humor)

The following is only humor. Humor pokes fun at everybody especially exploiting the stereotypes. Please keep that in mind.

Goth for Dummies 

First written on Nov. 13th, 2006

1. Don't act like you are more Goth than anybody when *all* you listen to is Death Metal/Black Metal (or other Metal bands). You'll piss off the real Goths! Stick around and learn from others then *perhaps* you'll gain acceptance.

2. Don't act miserable or depressed all the time. Nobody likes a whiny bitch -- that's what Emo is for!

3. A dark mindset does not make you Goth. Neither does being an outcast. Sorry to break it to you, you are just an outcast who happens to have dark thoughts.

4. Goths are intelligent, so please do yourself a favor and learn how to spell. NE1 will think UR stoopid if u dont. 

5. Do make an effort to get into some real Goth music. It will help other Goths avoid going to the hospital because of a busted gut.

6. Do not under any circumstance criticize an Elder Goth as not being Goth enough. Ironically *you* are being the wannabe by trying too hard!

7. You haven't heard all the music out there that's in the scene. So do yourself a favor and avoid looking stupid as you try to tell a DJ that accepted Goth bands aren't Goth. 

8. If your face looks like a chicken walked all over it before you go out to a club, don't be surprised if people make fun of you behind your back. Better yet, avoid any photographers if you don't want to be on anyone's bad makeup list!

9. Do not under any circumstance call the guy standing next to you that is wearing eyeliner, nail polish and a mini-skirt a sissy. You'll be on the floor crying for your mommy before you know it.

10. Do not under any circumstance try to pass off your pendant as a pentacle. We all know that it came from HIM!

11. If you got it flaunt it! (Unless you are an 'A' cup).